Primate visitations...

I am the owner of two Homo studentus universitatus (HSU) primates who have migrated home for the summer. HSU is a social creature. I started seeing evidence of other primate visitations when I would get home from work at night ie soda cans lying about, multiple dirty dishes strewn about the sink (not in the sink or in the dishwasher), every light in the house on. They are also nocturnal. These and other primates seem to come and go all night. I’m not sure why they have to go to a 10:30 pm movie rather than a 7 pm one...

Dear God, please help your faithful daughter try to understand their unusual habits and not bite their heads off. Amen

Spring Migration of the Homo Studentus Universitatus

During this time of spring migration of the homo studentus universitatus, we have caught glimpses of this nocturnal animal. The homo studentus is not seen before noon and it is advised not to disturb it before then because it growls. Once it awakens, it moves slowly from its lair to a cushy chair where it takes up residence in front of the TV, under a throw blanket, clutching the remote. Its hygiene is questionable and appetite is voracious. It leaves a trail of crumbs and soda cans in its path. Luckily, the creature left after only a week but I know it will return in about 6 weeks for an extended period of time. I can’t wait!

Now, here is a query…why is he returning ‘home’ at all if, when filling out the census, we are supposed to report him to be “living” where he is going to school (a very small town in upstate NY complete with nice restaurants, boutiques and big, beautiful Victorian homes)? This seems ridiculous considering he is only there less than 8 months a year, he does not have a car, he lives on campus, he is not using any of the town resources and his parental units are paying for his room and board! Is it me??